HAPPY WITH HYPOCRICY- WE ARE LIKE THAT ONLY

It is often that people say that the biggest turn off for them is 'hypocrisy'. But how often are they being unhypocritical enough themselves? are they not merely saying this because that is what everybody around them seems to be saying too?
The biggest form of hypocricy according to me is when we falsely proclaim to be altruists and demigods of honesty, unfailingly and blatantly criticizing hypocrits eventhough we all are living, breathing examples of it.

Came across this article in today's Times of India... it asked a question which i have often heard... ARE WE INDIANS AS A SOCIETY A HYPOCRITICAL LOT? read on...

When Rahul Gandhi spoke about the Congress hypocrisy on khadi and alcohol, it resulted in a number of Congresswallahs feeling uncomfortable. Not because they had any objections to Rahul baba’s views. Oh no, they were agitated because he had bluntly brought out the party’s hypocritical attitude towards the issue. But then, hypocrisy is nothing new in India. In fact, it is so deeply ingrained in our society, as also in our individual psyches that it is perceived as a way of life. So much so, that many people do not even realise that they are being hypocritical unless it is pointed out to them.

Consider, for instance, certain beliefs that are part of our society. In a country where it is considered auspicious to gamble on Diwali, most states have banned gambling and casinos. Similarly, staunch meat eaters turn vegetarian on select days of the week. Although we take pride in worshipping innumerable goddesses, girls are killed at birth and women routinely abused at home and outside.

We create furores over kissing scenes, and then cheer our children as they imitate the pelvic thrusts that pass for Bollywood dance moves. Sex is a dirty word in a country which is set to soon have the world’s largest population. We insist that we’re loyal friends, then proceed to fawn all over those in ‘useful’ positions while dumping those who are not. We lay claim to being secular and cosmopolitan, then look for matrimonial alliances within our own caste. There is an officially sanctioned limit on election expenditure which nobody seriously believes any candidate heeds. The list is endless and raises the question: Are we the most hypocritical people on earth?

“Perhaps we are today. But it wasn’t always so,” says author and bureaucrat Pavan K Varma. ‘‘Ancient Indian society had an open and candid culture, based on a very strong philosophical premise. That’s why the Kamasutra and Khajuraho were possible,’’ he says.

Of course, an attitude towards sex is only part of a society’s pragmatism. But it reflects a basic honesty - of a culture, where people are comfortable in their own skins. ‘‘Unfortunately we have lost this ability to be comfortable with ourselves. Instead, we try to lead our lives - not as who we are, but as who others think we ought to be,’’ adds Varma.

So, how did we get this way? Many people attribute it to a colonial hangover, a parting gift of the British, who were unable to understand the multifaceted dimensions of the Indian way of life. Sociologist Shiv Visvanathan acknowledges the colonial contribution, but adds that it has been honed and perfected by Indians. ‘‘It may have started in colonial times, but hypocrisy has actually bloomed in post-colonial times - more specifically, after independence, because of our obsession for being politically correct,’’ he says.

Activist and author Madhu Kishwar points out that as a society, we are simply full of confusion. ‘‘It is the mental chaos within our society that has made us into hypocrites. Deep down, we have a clear sense of what is right and what is wrong. But, we are eager to prove ourselves correct in the eyes of others. This has created a total loss of our sense of direction. Today, we no longer know who we want to be.’’

Hypocrisy in our society, in fact, is a complex web of our own making and in a way, it is quite ironical too. For instance, points out Varma, the West perceived us as spiritual other-worldly heroes, although we were steeped in consumerism, which our government did not encourage because of its protective policies. ‘‘Although the economic reforms saw the end of this hypocrisy, now we are trapping ourselves in the complexities of consumerism,’’ he says.

Another reason for our hypocrisy is because of the disconnect between the educated elite and the rest - the so-called gap between India and Bharat. Argues Kishwar, ‘‘A vibrant society can only emerge if all sections within society understand and complement each other. But there is a huge gap between sections of our society which we only pretend to understand.’’

In fact, says Visvanathan, hypocrisy can actually be called an upper class phenomenon — a child of the educated, privileged group, which offers lip service to the needs of the weaker sections of society, but is absolutely ignorant of the way they live or what they require.

It’s a divide that most of us are familiar with, although we may or may not be conscious of the hypocrisies that it creates. For instance, just observe yourself when interacting with someone from a different economic background, say your maid or your driver. Do you treat them in a similar manner as you treat a friend or even a stranger, whom you perceive as belonging to a similar economic background? Probably not. Because, lurking within, in the subconscious, is the divide between the haves and the have-nots.

Sums up Kishwar, ‘‘Although today, we remember Gandhi for his khadi and ahimsa, perhaps his greatest contribution was in creating a sense of ‘we’. Which he did, by bringing all classes of people together.

After independence this feeling of ‘us’ and ‘them’ has been steadily increasing. This is reflected in the policies and laws we have framed, which are far removed from the realities of the people for whom they are meant. If this won’t create a hypocritical society, what else will?’’