KRISHNA AND HIS THREE WIVES

People call them the inseparable threesome. Shobha, Reena and Pinky Patel are sisters who not only look uncannily similar but have identical tastes. They love and hate the same things, be it food, fashion, or colours. And Shobha, who has an MA in sociology, insists that they often dream the same dreams.

So no one in the Karvy tehsil of Chitrakoot found it scandalous when two years ago, one after the other, the three sisters married the same man. Shobha, who is now 25, met Krishna Soni, the son of a bhajiwalla , at the local Kali temple. She was convinced that he was the man for her - meeting him in a temple was auspicious and he seemed like a good person. "He may be only chhatvi -pass (sixth standard), so what? He will keep me with izzat till I die," she says. Far better than marrying a " suit-boot pahenne wala jo phir bhi izzat nahin karta ". Reena married Krishna after a month, and Pinky a fortnight after Reena.

Chitrakoot is a backward, dacoit-infested district of Uttar Pradesh, where the women are illiterate and the men near-jobless. By these standards, the girls’ father Santosh Patel is a Croesus. He owns a six-room makan with fans, buffaloes, a jeep and a chuna agency. All these riches are further embellished by his prosperous household of seven children, six daughters and a son.

The marriages were kept a closely guarded secret till about four months ago when Pinky gave birth to a son, delivered by Shobha, who has also midwifed Reena’s baby. Shobha does not have children of her own. When the marriage became public, Karvy found itself with a new sensation that outclassed even the "dreaded dacoit Dadua". Sahara TV landed up and the villagers had to give sound bites. Everyone became an expert on "the lucky man and his three young wives".

Soon, all kinds of wild speculation was scudding through the village - the girls’ father had force-married them to Krishna because he believed this would make him wealthier; the girls believed their husband was a reincarnation of the god Krishna; and most bizarre of all, that the marriage was a blue-film racket. Little wonder that when this reporter showed up at the hut, the allegedly 108-year-old granny was furious. "Is this a nautanki ?" raved the spry old woman.

But inside the long, dark room without electricity, calm reigns. This room is a world apart from six-room makan that the Patel girls lived in. It is Friday afternoon. Fawned over by his wives, Krishna is playing with his new-born baby by Bibi No 2. The family is in a good mood. "I decided to marry him first," says Shobha, her serious, bespectacled look at odds with the flirtatious tone. "These two joined in later when they realised that I had walked off with the best bargain." Reena takes up where she left off. "Krishna is the living god of love," says the girl who has BA from the local college. "It is bliss to live with a man who has so much prem to give." Pinky, who was in her second year in college, and had to drop out, is the most cheesed off by the press stampede. She is at the back of the room nursing her baby and refuses to be photographed.

The room is full of things including a buffalo and a drum to store grain. In this space live Krisha, his wives and two children, his mother and a cousin. The only object bearing resemblance to modern comfort is a large bed. A rope running down the length of the room functions as the sisters’ wardrobe. It sags with the weight of saris. A gas stove and a few pots are the kitchen. Somewhere at the back is a lean-to which serves as a bathroom. One corner of the room is devoted to the main occupation of the clan, puja. “This is where we spend maximum time,’’ explains Reena.

Their father Santosh Patel is equally at ease with the set up. "I was a little hesitant especially when the other two girls wanted to marry Krishna, but the boy is God’s special creation...this is what thakurji had willed," he says. And what will the family live on? Patel says that god will take care of things, and in the meanwhile, he is planning a lime-packaging unit for the three.

Despite the oppressive little room and the lack of a proper income, the three Mrs Sonis seems perfectly content. The happiness is apparent to anyone who drops in and belies all sociological theories of the evils of polygamy. They certainly seem happier than many women married to rich husbands. "We have no complaints," they declare in unison. In the last 16 months all of them have been to Kashmir and Kolkata. "Otherwise sitting at home with Krishna and chatting is enough."

The object of their affection is a gawky young man of average height and build, who looks perpetually bemused. Krishna Soni knows his wives are better educated and from a richer background, but that doesn’t seem to come in the way. After a stint as a factory hand in Mumbai, he returned to the family trade of selling vegetables. He is indecisive about the future. "But I will manage," he says.

Sniggers Parmeshwar, a neighbour, "With a rich father-in-law he needn’t worry." But Parmeshwar concedes that the boy is otherwise respectable. "The man does not drink or beat up his wives, and the women get along like a jungle fire." Ramriksh, a tea-shop owner, swears by the "amar prem" between the sisters. "Some people see their squalor, others see their happiness," he says philosophically.

But the inspector in charge of Ranipur, Brjendra Rai, continues to be puzzled. When Santosh Patel’s brother leaked the news of the multi-marriages to the local press, the police had to, reluctantly, intervene. Rai made many rounds of the house but found nothing unseemly. "The foursome looks quite regular," he fumbles for the right word. "All the girls are balig (adult), they have married voluntarily, there is no force. Moreover, according to the law only the first wife can lodge a complaint if the husband remarries, and here the girl has welcomed home the other two." Rai has decided to keep his counsel and stay away.

Santosh is relieved to hear this. He complains about the rumour that he encouraged the girls to marry Krishna because a tantrik told him the match would bring him wealth. "Tell me, do I look so wicked?" he demands. "Anyway, useless social pressures don’t work on me. If my daughters fall ill, who will look after them? Krishna, the neighbours or the accursed society? When society cannot be counted on in bad times why should one give them bhaav while the going is good?"

Back in the mud house in Ranipur ka hata, it is time for the infants Surya and Nitya to have their feed. "Life teaches you new lessons every day," says Shobha softly. Like her two sisters, she speaks in the local dialect punctuated with English words like "jealous" and "phrustration". "In college I read about those high-sounding social theories. I had no idea that one day I would deliver my sisters’ babies."

Their one brother who is against the marriage and has a fractious relationship with the father has filed an FIR in the police station. His grouse, though, is not polygamy but that "Soni hid his caste and claimed to be a Patel." Patel is a forward backward caste, ahead of the Sonis in the pecking order. Santosh Patel brushes away these obstacles. "All my six daughters are alp santoshi (easily satisfied)," he says.

The three younger sisters are studying. What if they also turn up wanting to marry Krishna one fine morning? The chuna trader smiles meaningfully, " Pata nahin...jo hoga thakurji ki marzi se hi hoga ."

ELEVATION

High, higher than the sun
You shoot me from a gun
I need you to elevate me here
At the corner of your lips
As the orbit of your hips
Eclipse
You elevate my soul

I've got no self control
Been living like a mole now
Going down, excavation
High and High in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

A star
Lit up like a cigar
Strung out like a guitar
Maybe you can educate my mind

Explain all these controls
Can't sing but I've got soul
The goal is elevation

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

I and eye in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Love
Lift me up from out of these blues
Won't you tell me something true
I believe in you

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

High and high in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

Elevation
Elevation
Elevation

Elevaaation
-U2

hohohahahehe

came across somewhere... theyre FUNNY! read on :D


WORLD WAR III IS COMING

President Bush decides to leave the White House and go out to sit in a local bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush sitting at the end of the bar?" The bartender says, "Yep, that's him." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! What are you doing in here?" Bush says, " I'm planning WW III." The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Bush says, "Well, I'm going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits. The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?" Bush turns to the bartender and says, "See, I told you, no one gives a shit about the 140 million Muslims".
________

THE NEW PRIEST

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervousOn the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" ....
12) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
13) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
________________

Top 8 Funniest Newspaper Classifieds(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers)

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
(man....if only I knew A B C....)
2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again.(sure...thanx for the warning!)
3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
(in months or years?)
4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
(check it out)
5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
(howwww sweeeet)
6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
(wow! A free trip to heaven?)
7. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
(hey....who taught cows the bad habit??)
8. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
(nice work!)
______________

Before and after.. :p

Before Marriage - - -
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

After marriage - - -
simply read from bottom
:D
___________________

His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished since he had given up drinking years ago. When asked why he was off the wagon, Dubya replied that he was celebrating finishing a jigsaw puzzle. They smiled and told him that wasn't much of an accomplishment. "Ah, but you're wrong. I did it in record time." When asked what that record was, he replied that he had finished it after only 6 months.Again, they told him that wasn't that great. "Oh yeah?" said the commander in chief, Well the box says 3-5 YEARS!"
____________

to be continued... :D

HAPPY WITH HYPOCRICY- WE ARE LIKE THAT ONLY

It is often that people say that the biggest turn off for them is 'hypocrisy'. But how often are they being unhypocritical enough themselves? are they not merely saying this because that is what everybody around them seems to be saying too?
The biggest form of hypocricy according to me is when we falsely proclaim to be altruists and demigods of honesty, unfailingly and blatantly criticizing hypocrits eventhough we all are living, breathing examples of it.

Came across this article in today's Times of India... it asked a question which i have often heard... ARE WE INDIANS AS A SOCIETY A HYPOCRITICAL LOT? read on...

When Rahul Gandhi spoke about the Congress hypocrisy on khadi and alcohol, it resulted in a number of Congresswallahs feeling uncomfortable. Not because they had any objections to Rahul baba’s views. Oh no, they were agitated because he had bluntly brought out the party’s hypocritical attitude towards the issue. But then, hypocrisy is nothing new in India. In fact, it is so deeply ingrained in our society, as also in our individual psyches that it is perceived as a way of life. So much so, that many people do not even realise that they are being hypocritical unless it is pointed out to them.

Consider, for instance, certain beliefs that are part of our society. In a country where it is considered auspicious to gamble on Diwali, most states have banned gambling and casinos. Similarly, staunch meat eaters turn vegetarian on select days of the week. Although we take pride in worshipping innumerable goddesses, girls are killed at birth and women routinely abused at home and outside.

We create furores over kissing scenes, and then cheer our children as they imitate the pelvic thrusts that pass for Bollywood dance moves. Sex is a dirty word in a country which is set to soon have the world’s largest population. We insist that we’re loyal friends, then proceed to fawn all over those in ‘useful’ positions while dumping those who are not. We lay claim to being secular and cosmopolitan, then look for matrimonial alliances within our own caste. There is an officially sanctioned limit on election expenditure which nobody seriously believes any candidate heeds. The list is endless and raises the question: Are we the most hypocritical people on earth?

“Perhaps we are today. But it wasn’t always so,” says author and bureaucrat Pavan K Varma. ‘‘Ancient Indian society had an open and candid culture, based on a very strong philosophical premise. That’s why the Kamasutra and Khajuraho were possible,’’ he says.

Of course, an attitude towards sex is only part of a society’s pragmatism. But it reflects a basic honesty - of a culture, where people are comfortable in their own skins. ‘‘Unfortunately we have lost this ability to be comfortable with ourselves. Instead, we try to lead our lives - not as who we are, but as who others think we ought to be,’’ adds Varma.

So, how did we get this way? Many people attribute it to a colonial hangover, a parting gift of the British, who were unable to understand the multifaceted dimensions of the Indian way of life. Sociologist Shiv Visvanathan acknowledges the colonial contribution, but adds that it has been honed and perfected by Indians. ‘‘It may have started in colonial times, but hypocrisy has actually bloomed in post-colonial times - more specifically, after independence, because of our obsession for being politically correct,’’ he says.

Activist and author Madhu Kishwar points out that as a society, we are simply full of confusion. ‘‘It is the mental chaos within our society that has made us into hypocrites. Deep down, we have a clear sense of what is right and what is wrong. But, we are eager to prove ourselves correct in the eyes of others. This has created a total loss of our sense of direction. Today, we no longer know who we want to be.’’

Hypocrisy in our society, in fact, is a complex web of our own making and in a way, it is quite ironical too. For instance, points out Varma, the West perceived us as spiritual other-worldly heroes, although we were steeped in consumerism, which our government did not encourage because of its protective policies. ‘‘Although the economic reforms saw the end of this hypocrisy, now we are trapping ourselves in the complexities of consumerism,’’ he says.

Another reason for our hypocrisy is because of the disconnect between the educated elite and the rest - the so-called gap between India and Bharat. Argues Kishwar, ‘‘A vibrant society can only emerge if all sections within society understand and complement each other. But there is a huge gap between sections of our society which we only pretend to understand.’’

In fact, says Visvanathan, hypocrisy can actually be called an upper class phenomenon — a child of the educated, privileged group, which offers lip service to the needs of the weaker sections of society, but is absolutely ignorant of the way they live or what they require.

It’s a divide that most of us are familiar with, although we may or may not be conscious of the hypocrisies that it creates. For instance, just observe yourself when interacting with someone from a different economic background, say your maid or your driver. Do you treat them in a similar manner as you treat a friend or even a stranger, whom you perceive as belonging to a similar economic background? Probably not. Because, lurking within, in the subconscious, is the divide between the haves and the have-nots.

Sums up Kishwar, ‘‘Although today, we remember Gandhi for his khadi and ahimsa, perhaps his greatest contribution was in creating a sense of ‘we’. Which he did, by bringing all classes of people together.

After independence this feeling of ‘us’ and ‘them’ has been steadily increasing. This is reflected in the policies and laws we have framed, which are far removed from the realities of the people for whom they are meant. If this won’t create a hypocritical society, what else will?’’

GOING UNDER...

Now I will tell you what I've done for you -
50 thousand tears I've cried
.Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -
And you still won't hear me.
(going under)
Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.
(So I don't know what's real) So I don't know what's real and what's not (and what's not)
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm...

So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)
I won't be broken again (again)
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm going under (going under)
I'm going under (drowning in you)
I'm going under
- evanescence